A cup of the smaller things in life

Life is really great right now :)

This first half of the year has been quite drastic and this change is quite drastic too!
I'm so happy. I'm genuinely happy. I'm working at a dream job as a preschool teacher!
I feel so unstoppable. I feel so tall. I feel so proud. I feel like I'm worth a bajillion!
The children are so inspiring! The small things they take into account is such a blessing! I love my life!
To see them grow mentally and physically and seeing this progression is so worth it!
Some day I will be able to have children of my own! I've definitely noticed that not till I'm ready I don't want children. It impacts the child in such a big way. The children look up to you as a role model figure!
How crazy is that? How humbling is that?
I love this feeling of waking up and not knowing what to expect! The spontaneous aspect of being around children :) such a joy, such a blessing.
I'm happy, friends.

A cup of nostalgic regret.

When I see a sappy love movie there's always that scene where the main character get their heart broken by their admired lover. Regardless of the repetition of the same old story line and the bound to be foreseen scene my heart just goes numb. I cannot breathe for those seconds of when the characters heart is being torn piece by piece. you can see on their faces of how much their hurting. Even the worst actor on earth can make my heart stop just for those few seconds because everyone has felt betrayal, hurt, agony, and pain in their lives. It feels like your heart just jumped up to your throat and just paralyzed all aspects of breathing and heart beating.  It's probably the most agonizing seconds in ones life to be reminded of the emotional pain that we've been trying so hard to forget. It only takes that one scene that can take us back to the memory lane none of us wanted to feel nor see again. Ever again.

a cup of fog.

"Every time the loneliness rears up in you like a seething, burning continent, you tie on your shoes and hit the paths" - Junot Diaz

Star.

One day I want to be seen as someone's special one and only star. 

I want to be seen as a person that shines in every way possible. 

I want to feel unique to that special someone and show my imperfections and we'll both be okay with it.

He will accept me and he will be my one and only star.

Someone I look up to, to always be there for me through the heavy fog and rain.

Till that day comes I'll continue to shine so some how and some way he'll find me.

A cup of "closed heart"

Hearts just paralyzed as we kissed eyes.
Slap! You were like an inevitable booby trap.
Back to reality and gravity hits like a ton of bricks.
Trying to quick fix and feelings are mixed.
As the butterflies takes you back to the past.
How you believed that love was your first and last.
Pain strikes and those memories takes a hike.
Walls go up and every emotion is considered fucked up.
You start to seal because you don't want to feel.
You are back to the start as an artificial heart.

A cup of "pretending"

Just like in Preschool...
"I have to pretend like I'm okay and even if I know I don't belong, I have to pretend to survive".

raise a glass to all insensitive men

YOU CAN NEVER TEACH A GUY TO LOVE YOU THE WAY YOU WANTED TO BE LOVED. YOU HAVE TO WAIT FOR HIM TO DO IT IN HIS OWN WAY, IN HIS OWN TIME, THAT’S THE SADDEST PART OF BEING A GIRL. BUT YOU CAN NEVER TEACH A GIRL TO LOVE THE GUY BACK THE WAY SHE DID BEFORE IF SHE ALREADY GREW TIRED AND WAITING TO BE APPRECIATED AND LOVED THE WAY SHE DESERVES TO BE LOVED, THAT’S THE SADDEST PART OF BEING AN INSENSITIVE MAN...