a cup of cold bitter espresso

I just feel unloved. Im not holding on so well.

Maybe it's the lack of sleep i've been getting the past few nights.
I'm glad i'm getting a break and leaving for a while.
As of now, I feel like the world is against me.

sorry did i forget to take off the wrapper from the tea bag?

I've been all over the place the past month.

I need to step back and just see things in a bigger perspective.

breathe.

don't give up now.

a cup of YOU

You. Yes, you. I am writing this for you.

I know you are reading this. And I want you to know I am writing this for you. No one else will understand. No one else knows. They think that this is for them. But it’s not. I am writing this for you.

I want you to know, life…it’s hard. Every day can be a challenge. It can be a challenge to get up in the morning. To get yourself out of bed. To put on that smile. But I want you to know, that smile is what keeps me going some days. You need to remember, even through the tough times, you are amazing. You really are.

You should be happy. You are gorgeous.

I know that the weather might not be perfect. You might have to turn your back to the wind or feel the cold nipping at your nose. But you know what, at least you are there to feel it. At least you can enjoy the sun’s warm rays on your face. Or that cold wind biting at your cheeks. You know what that means?

You are alive.

Everything will be okay:)

"bullshit" over ice with a splash of anger yah?

So, I've came to a point in life, where i really don't give a shit.

Not to sounds depressing, but what the fuck is the purpose? because frankly, I don't have one. My mind is all over the place, not that it wasn't before but it was hell as fuck more organized then it is now. As you can tell, I'm quite overwhelmed at the moment with life. It feels like every step i take i will just fucking pass out.

Some things that blow my mind, about myself...

1) I'm trying to rush into a relationship, but why? I sure as fuck don't have anything together and on top of that, i'm trying to start something i won't even be able to keep..

2) I don't give a damn fuck about school, which makes me scared..

3) I don't want to be family, I don't trust anyone anymore... which is super sad... don't you think? For the longest time, it was always, "blood is thicker than water"... now i don't know what to think. Pretty fucked up to me.

4)I feel more distant to my friends more than ever, I feel this way because I honestly don't know who my true friends are..

I feel like i don't have any foundation.. I feel like even God can't help me and also as stupid as this sounds, I don't want His help... I mean I may sound self absorbed but hear me out... why the fuck is all this happening? I know the typical "christian" answer as in, "Oh Lisa, God is just testing you". WELL HOMMIE, that shit doesn't work on me anymore.. it worked in grade 10 and all i can say to that is you can take all that "bullshit" and shove it up your a$$ :)

anyways sorry for this rant but in conclusion came to the understanding that life is a bitch

cheers to a cup of anger.

Lisa

a cup of hypocritical bitterness. nomilk.nosugar.

not only am i sick with the cold but i'm just not feeling like myself today.

Today, I came to the conclusion that i am a hypocrite. A big one at that too.

when i think about how fucked up my head is it amazes me the ruthlessness that possesses me to say things that i might not agree with.

I definitely don't want to be known as the girl who tells you how to live one's life when i'm not even taking my own advice.

so perhaps i am a hypocrite, but at least i am a hypocrite who is willing to share their thoughts.

plate of backstabbers&large cup of speechlessness

If i told you that i was speechless, i would be lying.
Although i do admit, i feel like i got stabbed not only in the back but places i didn't even know even existed. I'm surprised I'm not on the floor rolling from this pain, but rather i feel like I'm on a "candid camera" show or it's some type of sick joke.
See, because I'm not only hurt by the fact that you erased me but the fact that I've been on your side from the very beginning whether you were right or wrong I never ever looked another way. When I trust someone like I did with you, it makes me want to just give up on life as a whole.
Ever since i was little, it was engraved into both my head and heart that I will never, especially in this life time, be able to have a person I considered as my little sister. Moments and memories fill up my mind as I'm writing this and it makes it excruciatingly hard for me to even know where to start. It's really hard to see anything bad about a person a little sister who I've valued half your lifetime.
Each time someone thought or said I was someone stupid or just didn't know how to use my brain you out of all people gave me hope that i wasn't and that i will never be. Just thinking about this now makes me nauseous and numb to the point where i feel paralysed.
You're not the only one to blame it's my mistake, i should've been wiser by now right? To not trust anyone.
Maybe I'm asking too much from you.
Maybe I'm over reacting.
I don't know how to take this in or how to react. On that note, I am speechless.

i lied.but committed

I lied. I'm sorry. So.... I just got caught up in relaxing I didn't get a chance to get on the computer :( my bad! forgive me? So this past month, I received a package in the mail from E.L.F (eyes, lips, face) which i had ordered. Now, I've been reviewing these items on my other blog but i decided to move to blogspot.com since I find it's more easier to post up. So, the next few weeks I will be review some products! xoxo

Promise

I promise to write more blog psots after my final exams... next post will be up on Wednesday, April 13th! I PROMISE

the worst feeling in the world.

Dear Unknown,

"sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me".

can i say that this quote is pure bullsh!t? no other feeling in this entire world that will make you feel as sh!tty as words as sharp as a slap. Have you ever hear of the quote "never judge a book by its cover"? I hope you have because that's one of the first things I've learned as soon as i was conceived. I really hope that you see me for who i am for real and not as someone who you "think" i am. Because the thing you've got going on right now isn't healthy for me in fact anyone in the whole world especially yourself. Don't try to act as if your all "innocent" you hear? But you know what? I'm gonna be the "bigger person" right now.. regardless of what sh!t you say about me because why? because I'm not like you. I don't judge, especially someone I barely know.

Thank you,
Lisa

Matthew 7:3-5

reborn

Well first off, I didn't even know I had a blog in the first place!
Until I came across to one of my friends blog and commented and discovered this.
Well it states that I have been blogging since 2010 July..... Oh my goodness such a joke.
So I'm going to start now, I apologize if i seem iffy but bare with me:)

Greetings and Salutations bloggerians!
My name is Lisa, I am currently in college and this is going to be a blog about I guess anything that really strikes me. I love feedback and listening so anything that's on your mind, feel free to comment and tell me wassap!

Lisa