So, I've came to a point in life, where i really don't give a shit.
Not to sounds depressing, but what the fuck is the purpose? because frankly, I don't have one. My mind is all over the place, not that it wasn't before but it was hell as fuck more organized then it is now. As you can tell, I'm quite overwhelmed at the moment with life. It feels like every step i take i will just fucking pass out.
Some things that blow my mind, about myself...
1) I'm trying to rush into a relationship, but why? I sure as fuck don't have anything together and on top of that, i'm trying to start something i won't even be able to keep..
2) I don't give a damn fuck about school, which makes me scared..
3) I don't want to be family, I don't trust anyone anymore... which is super sad... don't you think? For the longest time, it was always, "blood is thicker than water"... now i don't know what to think. Pretty fucked up to me.
4)I feel more distant to my friends more than ever, I feel this way because I honestly don't know who my true friends are..
I feel like i don't have any foundation.. I feel like even God can't help me and also as stupid as this sounds, I don't want His help... I mean I may sound self absorbed but hear me out... why the fuck is all this happening? I know the typical "christian" answer as in, "Oh Lisa, God is just testing you". WELL HOMMIE, that shit doesn't work on me anymore.. it worked in grade 10 and all i can say to that is you can take all that "bullshit" and shove it up your a$$ :)
anyways sorry for this rant but in conclusion came to the understanding that life is a bitch
cheers to a cup of anger.
Lisa
