welcome take off your shoes and grab a cup

Thursday, June 14, 2012

A cup of Chivalry has died; a manly man's cup of reminder.


Now don't get me wrong, I'm not referring to every guy out there but its just an observation that has been on my mind these couple of days. Maybe this could be a reminder for guys to polish up and maybe you can learn one or two things for the guys in this generation today who still have that hopeless river of good manner, respect and chivalry for them to freshen up!


1. Stand Yo ass Up. nuff' said.
This is traditional etiquette and it's defiantly not hard to follow that standing when a lady enters/departs from a room. This is also applicable to an elderly person.
Let's set an example, gentlemen, don't just sit your ass' on the sofa when she's leaving, get up, at least say bye to her face. Walk her to the door, properly.
common, let's face it, a grunting goodbye across the room while your ass is on the sofa watching TV doesn't show your attention nor your respect.
2. Doors.
hopefully guys know the rule of holding a door for a lady. but let's just establish this more clearly when opening the door step out of the way so that they can pass while doing so, it's common to follow up with a nod and an, "after you".
Revolving doors? don't worry, I got yo back!  Go first and say, "allow me" before you do so she doesn't think you're just pushing in front. push the door round for the lady who follows in behind you.Don't go too fast and smack each others backs (it hurts in heels).
guarantee you these two are sure to get you a smile from a discerning lady.
3. Go first.
This is a no brainer for most and you guys might think of it as if it was nagging but she walks in first because you are holding the door for her. This applies in movies,concerts, dinners, etc.
On exit from the row,  you will be leading, so stand at the end to stop anyone from cutting off your partner as they exit the rows in front, and allow her to exit in front of you then walk beside her.
4. Tables.Enable.
  • Try to serve for the lady you came with, but never ever for a lady who came with another gentlemen.
  • I know this may be a bad habit but keep your food in your mouth and not make disturbing noises as you eat.
  • ask to be excused. In the accompany before guests or family.
  • Keep your volume down. I hear you, you're sitting across from me. Boisterously is not hot.
  • Don't force them into having something in which they have already declined once.
5. Get yo alarms set.
Considering I am quite bad at time managing I use this tip with great guilt but It shows respect, good planning and personal timekeeping and reliability.
If you are running late, then call the lady. If she doesn’t answer her phone, call the restaurant to make sure she is aware of what is going on and not left to become unnecessarily anxious.
If you are having to rush to meet her  after you have phoned,  make sure you take a minute or two to ‘catch your breath’, compose yourself and straighten yourself out before you go the final stretch and meet her.
6. Talkity. Talk. Talk
Remember there is two of you for the relationship to work. We love it when a man has his own thing goin on but If you catch yourself talking for too long apologize and turn the conversation.
Be enthusiastic and positive, no matter what they are saying, even if it is boring or not! This will put them at ease and more relaxed so a conversation will start to flow.
Try to avoid topics that evoke emotion like religion, politics and money. These may get you caught up in debate that is more suited to the comfort of your own home rather than on your date.
Laugh!
7. Getting Comfortable
It is your place, as the man, to make sure that your date is comfortable at all times. Do not  keep asking her if she is comfortable, but to notice if she is looking cold or shifting in an uncomfortable seat and take appropriate action to remedy the situation.
If you spot a puddle, you may be comfortable of just going right through it but don't drag her.now throwing your coat over it like in old times is a little extreme, but just make sure you both avoid it somehow.
Offer your coat if she is cold when you are out and about. Women tend to dress lightly since they hate to have too much stuff to carry around, so you should be prepared to sacrifice your coat or jacket to keep them warm (or getting them out of the cold is another solution!)


8. Yo eyes shine bright
It establishes that your undivided attention is on them.
Make sure that you genuinely are paying attention to them so that they feel they are the only person in the whole place. If you look around the room or look at other people then the person talking will assume that you are bored and looking to get away.
A good rule with eye contact is to look at the spot just in-between people’s eyes. Don’t stare for extended periods of time, take a quick break by briefly looking at something else and then come back, otherwise the talker could become uncomfortable and you will get one of these!





9. You. Yourself. and oh wait, there's her.
Unless you are pro at lying (which isn't a good trait) people can usually tell when you are exaggerating, if not immediately. They will some how find out and it will screw up your game.
It has also been said that women are 10 times more sensitive to body language than men, so if you are lying or exaggerating, there is a good chance they will know it!
If you try and be someone  you are not, you’ll only trap yourself into lying in the future to keep up the pretence, or  having to be called out which will make you look worse than if you just tried to be yourself.
10. At last
Just some quick tips:
  • make sure she gets home fine. 
  • make an effort to dress fresh, fly, and smell good
  • don't be rude to others on a date. You look like a jerk.
  • compliments are a plus but mean it
  • try to pay for the first tab. **for gals: unless you want to be a gold digger. offer to pay.**
  • Don't waste your time and date when you are genuinely single. none of this " well I am kind of seeing someone" bullsh!t.




<3 enjoy.

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