Why is it that life hits you with the most unexciting things when you want exciting things to happen and vise-versa?
What I want to establish right now is, why the hell am I single for this long?
Its been about 4 years since I've actually had an actual boyfriend and, I'm ready! Seriously. No backing out. Do i sound crazy? don't get me wrong, I'm not love crazy... Hopefully. I miss falling in love. Being in that stage where you get butterflies in your stomach even when you hear the other's name. Having insomnia for the right reasons due to the excitement in love, not insomnia of wondering what the hell is wrong with me. Am i ugly? Am I too straight up? Is it because I sometimes have strong opinions about certain things?Am I always gonna be one of the dudes that will be never be considered a "lady"? I don't know. I'm just tired of being single now. I want to move on. I tell my guy friends to just move on as an advice, but i don't take it myself. I feel like a hypocrite but life isn't really giving me an opportunity. Or am I avoiding the opportunity? I think I would've noticed over the 4 years of being single. The more I think about why I'm single the more I start jumping to conclusion and start beating myself mentally by lowering my self esteem and that's the stupidest thing, to lower myself, but it's true... What am I doing wrong? What do the other girls have that I don't have? Are my standards too high? At this very moment I don't even think i have standards..No, I'm lying, but all I ask for in a guy is for him to spoil me with his love. That's all. is that too high of a standard?What am i doing wrong Internet? What am i doing wrong?
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